Question for a friend

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Question for a friend

Postby Steven » Sat Jan 28, 2017 9:28 am

So here is the situation
I was approached by a friend of mine from many years ago the other day and he asked me how I was doing. I told him everything was great, family, health children. He said he was glad and that everything was good with him. We made small talk about the days gone by and things that we have both done, medical issues and the like. After about ½ hour of the normal stuff he asked if he could ask me a personal question.
He proceeds to tell me that although his kids and grand kids are doing great and his relationship with his wife very good he had a situation come up that he doesn’t know how to handle. Apparently over 20 years ago he had an affair with a young woman when things weren’t going so well at home. The affair lasted about 2 years and then they both decided to stop seeing each other and went on their separate ways. He said back then, he had developed strong feelings for the woman and had contemplated leaving his wife but decided he would rather work things out at home. He found out severzl months later that the woman had begun a relationship with someone else and it looked like she was going to get married. He said he continued to think of her throughout the years but they never spoke.
About a month ago she reached out to him. She told him she has been married for about 10 years, lives in a nice house several hours from him. She also said that she had never forgotten him and had thought of him very often. She said she has always been in love with him even though she loves her husband very much. She asked if they could meet just to see each other and talk about time gone by.
He told me he decided to meet with her in a public place just to see how she was and find out more about what she had been up to. He said it was very clear to him that she really wanted to have more than a conversation with him. After several hours of talking and hugging they parted and went on their separate ways. He told me he still had very strong feelings for her and was thinking about starting up the affair once again. He said he was happy at home but his relationship with his wife was not what it used to be and that the marriage had flat lined a few years back and the only thing keeping them together was the kids and grandkids.
He told me they spoke several more times on the phone and then decided to meet again. This time they met at a more remote place. He said that when he arrived she met him with a big hug and a very passionate kiss. They talked for another hour or two but this time it was more about whether they could have a future together. He said he told her that there was no way he could do anything because of all of his responsibilities but mostly because he couldn’t afford to leave his wife. This is the part that blew me away. He told me she said that life had been good to her and that she was a multi millionaire and that money wasn’t a problem. He told me she said, I could give everything I owned to my wife and just live with her. He said she would be more than willing to take care of him for the rest of his life and that they could do anything they wanted. She said that she did not need to work because of her investments and she would be willing to share everything she had with him. He told me she said she had everything she ever wanted in her life except him. He said she told him that she would love him like nobody could and make sure he was happy. She was happy to live anywhere he wanted to where they could both enjoy life together.
And then he asked me the question, what should he do ?
I told him that he needed to consider all of the people in his life and how such a break up would affect them.
He said he had but at what point in his life should he be able to think about himself ?
I told him I didn’t have an answer.
I then thought about what I would do if this was me. I seriously don't know the answer.

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